So, it should be no surprise to anyone that it’s time to announce another Division lineup change – it is Spring, after all, despite the wintry conditions. Some of you probably missed Mark Taylor’s tenure in the band, as we only did one show with him. Things just didn’t work out, despite the best wishes of all involved.
It comes as somewhat of a surprise to me that, once again, the circle of metal has encompassed us. After the return of Dan and Scott, I figured I was out of former members that would want to be involved. I was partially right…
Allow me to introduce Division’s new drummer, Marc Stauffer. Many (most) of you know Marc from his longtime tenure in Twisted Tower Dire, as well as his recent involvement in local bands like Hatred and Krass Judgement. Many of you don’t know (or might not remember) that Marc’s played with us before, for several rather blurry shows in 1999, including the Powermad 1999 festival.
Marc brings a similar musical background (translation: he’s old like the rest of us), bizarre sense of humor, and a whole lot of experience in the dank, dark underbelly of metal that isn’t mainstream to the band. We’re even willing to overlook his enjoyment of NASCAR.
Division is happy to have him on board for the forthcoming album and some summer festival shows to be announced soon. Now all we have to do is schedule shows with TTD so we can get him a real workout…
Must be someone playing the drums!
I figure I’ve put this off long enough – Division would like introduce Mark Taylor as our new drummer. Some of you will know Mark from his recent tenure in Almost Human. We’d like to thank Dan Roem from Cab Ride Home for providing the hookup (long before James left, actually).
Thus far, Mark is fitting in well, which has to say something pretty awful about his mental state. We’re bringing him up to speed on the material in the standard Division manner – which is to say we’re insulting him when something is wrong – and Dave’s happy to have a FNG to pick on that’s actually 1.) new, and 2.) playing his usual instrument. (Hi, Tim!)
Look for us to return in the fall, with some new material in addition to a selection of the old stuff.
(With tongue firmly planted in cheek)
Last Saturday, James played his last show behind the kit with Division. His family and he are moving to Ohio to begin the next part of their lives, and we wish them all well. Well, we wish his family well; to hell with James, I hope he gets hit by a car and dies. If you’re reading this, James, frankly I’m surprised, since I thought you were too stupid to read. I wish Melinda and Hazel well with their new, improved husband/father, and I hope he plays a real instrument, like guitar.
It is a strange feeling to look back on nearly a decade in the same band, watching everyone else change around you. It seems only yesterday that I stood in the damp, cramped front room at Barco Rebar, auditioning through the shittiest Marshall JCM900 in existence, ultimately replacing founding guitarist Matt Crooks. That was a band at a crossroads; a principal writer was leaving, the local music scene was shifting in a new direction, and tunes were being penned for the first album to fully feature 7-string guitars. I won’t go into details, but there was a lot of tension and doubt in the band at the time, and it felt like a slow climb out of a hazy pit. Gigging helped, and as James, Mike, Nick, Ron, and myself slowly gelled as a live act, we became tighter, both musically and as friends. We had a lot of fun times opening for some of our heroes at Jaxx, and several very entertaining road trips, parts of which we barely remember. Playing with those guys made me a better guitarist, more knowledgeable of gear, and a better live performer. Ultimately, those days wouldn’t last, as Ron’s wife Meghan moved out of the area to pursue a new career. We sure do miss Meghan, and wish her all the best of luck in her future endeavors, and are delighted she took Ron with her. I hope he chokes on a burrito, stupid pasty-faced, prepubescent-looking hack, since bass is for people without enough talent to play guitar. He was obviously compensating for something, and we all feel real bad for Meghan on that count.
We picked up Tim, and soldiered on. Tim mainly played guitar before joining Division, realized he didn’t have enough talent for it, and made the switch to the big strings (I guess they’re easier for a tall goofy guy to grab onto). Tim joined during another transitional period, as we started playing more small clubs and bars. We got to watch Jaxx destroyed by the soul-sucking leaches at Outerloop, and discovered a truly awesome scene out in Loudoun County Tim banged away with us for a year, got married, joined fifty-seven other bands, took on a demanding new job, and quit like the quitty quitter he is. Your hair is falling out, loser, and we take pity on your wife for being stuck with a widow’s peak and your job working on boats. With sailors. I think we all know where I’m going with this.
Nick, who didn’t want to be showed up, also quit. I’m in two bands with Nick, so I’m waiting for him to quit that one, too, so I never have spend another waking moment with that egotistical, no-talent assclown. Maybe a stray meteorite will take care of that for me. Enter Scott and Dan, on lead prima dona and big dumb guy guitar, respectively. Having run out of talented people in the area to turn to, we were stuck with the retreads. This was obviously too much for James to bear, since he’s moving hundreds of miles away to Cleveland. You know people suck when you move to Cleveland to get away from them. It must be the bald quotient in the band or something.
After eight years, Mike is the only person left from the four guys staring at me in that grungy rehearsal room in Falls Church. Mike is like dirt, though: old, crusty, and around for the long haul. I’m still looking for the broom that works on Mike, but I guess he is punishments for the sins of a former life. All joking aside, I’ve shared some times, both good and bad, with everyone whom I’ve been lucky enough to play metal with in this band. Every single one of them brought something different to the band, as reflected in the gigs we played and the music we wrote. Now, we stand once again at a crossroads, replacing another member on the eve of writing and recording the next album. Who knows what direction the next FNG will take us, but I’m equal parts excited and trepiditious, just as I was when I was the FNG.